One lower light shining

Yesterday at institute, our teacher was gone, so we had one of the recent RMs from the ward sub in.  Although the lesson was fairly decent, he seemed to fall back on a lot of gospel cliches–words and phrases that we’ve all heard hundreds of times before.  One of those that stood out to me was “feel the Spirit.”

“Feel the Spirit” is a phrase that’s really common among us Mormons.  We say it all the time, usually in reference to coming closer to God or increasing our personal spirituality.  Yet the phrase itself denotes a passive state of mind, one where we’re just waiting around for God to make us feel good.

That doesn’t sit well with me, because I know that that’s not the way God works.  Yes, He gives us comfort–after all, “Comforter” is one of the names of the Holy Ghost–but that’s not all that He does, and certainly not the most important thing either.

The Holy Ghost’s mission is to testify of Christ and bring us unto Him, and He does that primarily by communicating eternal truths and giving us personal guidance and inspiration.  He doesn’t just exist to make us feel good–quite the opposite, in fact.  Through His still, small voice, He pushes us to repent, be baptized, keep our covenants, and endure faithfully to the end.  If we’re just sitting around doing nothing, He won’t come to us–or if He does, it’s usually to kick us in the pants.

I submit that instead of the term “feel the Spirit,” we should use the term “receive the Spirit.” This is in connection with the baptismal ordinance, which ends “and say unto you, receive the Holy Ghost.”

To receive the Spirit, we need to be striving to follow the gospel–to exercise faith, continually repent, keep our baptismal covenants, and follow the promptings and inspiration of the Holy Ghost.  We need to make place in our lives to listen to that still small voice–to tune out the distractions and actively listen.  We need to humble ourselves so that our hearts are contrite enough to follow His guidance, regardless of how it seems to contradict our own plans and desires.

In short, I hope that in speaking of the Holy Ghost, we can recognize that inspiration is not just a “feel good” thing.  It’s a vital part of our eternal salvation, and as such it requires an element of work.  Let’s not forget that.

Today I opened an old scripture journal and read the following note (in response to Mosiah 3:19):

God’s promptings work exactly the opposite way that Satan’s temptations work.  Satan seeks to destroy our agency; God seeks to affirm and protect it.  Satan will try to overwhelm us despite our intentions; God waits patiently for us to torn towards Him, then guides us personally.

We yield to Christ in a completely different way [than to Satan].  To yield to Satan, we let ourselves drift away in the sins of the world.  To yield to Christ, we don’t wait to be carried away, but we point our lives to Him and listen to the Spirit.

This makes me think of a principle I learned very early on my mission about the guidance of the Spirit.  The Spirit will not push a body at rest into motion, but will guide a body in motion in the correct direction.  If we wish to be guided by the spirit, we need to exercise the faith to move in a certain direction, and once we are actively pursuing what we feel is right, the Spirit will guide us more precisely to what we need to do.

1st Nephi 4:8-10:

8 And when I came to him I found that it was Laban.
9 And I beheld his sword, and I drew it forth from the sheath thereof; and the hilt thereof was of pure gold, and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine, and I saw that the blade thereof was of the most precious steel.
10 And it came to pass that I was constrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.

Nephi faces a tough ethical situation in 1st Nephi 4. The Lord, who gave the commandment “thou shalt not kill,” commands Nephi to slay Laban in cold blood in the streets of Jerusalem.

Most of the time, when we discuss this scripture story, we talk about the Lord’s rationale for killing Laban (v13: “it is better that one man should perish…”), or we talk about how what the Lord commands is always right, even if it contradicts a commandment he gave us earlier. That’s not what interests me about this story, though. What interests me is how it marks an important point in Nephi’s personal growth.

In chapter 2, Lehi leads the family into the wilderness and Laman and Lemuel start their complaining. Nephi prays to get a testimony of his father’s call as a prophet, and he receives an answer to his prayer. In chapter 3, Lehi commands his sons to return to Jerusalem and get the brass plates (the only written scriptures available) from Laban. Nephi, full of enthusiasm, declares “I will go and do…”

But then things start to fall apart. They go to Laban and ask for the plates, only to be chased out. Nephi’s brothers want to give up, but he convinces them to try again. Just like we’re counseled to “study it out in your mind” (ie do everything within your power before asking the Lord to solve your problem), Nephi does the rational thing and tries to barter for the plates. Then, Laban steals their goods and drives them out of the city as common thieves. As if that weren’t enough, Nephi’s own brothers get angry and beat him up.

At this point, Nephi doesn’t really have any options. He doesn’t give up, though–he’s still determined to follow the Lord. He sneaks back into Jerusalem by night with absolutely no plan, trusting that the Lord will help him find some way to accomplish the impossible.

And he does. There, lying drunk in the streets, is Laban.

And then the Lord gives Nephi the most difficult commandment of all.

It’s not easy to take a life, especially when you grew up in a religion that taught you that murder is one of the worst possible sins you can commit. That’s basically what the Lord was commanding Nephi to do–murder Laban in a back alley. Remember how Nephi said “I will go and do…”? Well, this is one commandment he can’t bring himself to keep. Not at first, at least. The Lord has to command him three times before he gets up the nerve to do it.

The Lord obviously doesn’t command us all to take a life in cold blood (this church isn’t a street gang, after all! ), but I do think that all of us eventually have to face a similar test of our faith. Neal A. Maxwell said the following:

If we are serious about our discipleship, Jesus will eventually request each one of us to do those very things which are most difficult to do.

(Maxwell, Neal A. 1972. A Time to Choose. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, p 46.)

We look to Nephi as the quintessential example of obedience, but where did that obedience come from? From his decision that night in a back alley in Jerusalem. Even though it looked like cold blooded murder–something any self respecting do-gooder could never bring himself to commit–Nephi obeyed God’s command and took Laban’s life. After that, what was building a ship and sailing to a new world? Piece of cake.

Nephi’s test was to take a life. For us, it will probably be different, but I think it will be just as difficult for us as it was for him. The choice we make at that moment will forever define us, just as Nephi’s choice defined him.