Today I checked up on my entry for the 2011 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, and saw that it garnered a couple of very encouraging reviews!
Here’s the first one:
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
I enjoyed the background of this excerpt immensely. The futuristic technology like images projected onto walls, transparent floors, milky skies, cryofreeze.
What aspect needs the most work?
I would avoid using the term “ground zero” as it has such a close association with 9/11.
The idea of generating a wormhole was popularized with Star Trek’s Deep Space 9 series, so this is not an entirely original idea. What is going to set this book apart from existing media on this idea?
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
This is a strong piece of work. Nicely edited. While the idea of going through a wormhole to explore new worlds is not an original idea, I am curious what this young explorer will find out there? And what will he find within himself and his co-explorer when they wake from cryofreeze? There is potential here.
Not bad! I’m glad to see the reviewer feels that the story is well edited–I certainly spent a lot of time revising it, and it looks like that’s paid off. As for the criticism about the wormhole, I’m not too worried about that, since it’s more background information for the story than a central element in the story itself.
Here’s the second one:
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
The idea of space travel and finding a ‘new Earth’ isn’t a new one. For years Sci-Fi authors have written about the non-sustainability of our planet, of the melting ice caps, the over population and crowding. This author has taken that concept and twisted it into something more unique and young. Our hero is a 17 year old who went on to school at 14 to become a Planetologist. You see his family and friends live in deep space, they’re trying to create an artificial worm hole and find a new Earth. The younger take on how Michael feels trapped both by his parents and the ghost of Earth is fantastic. I love the author’s voice through Michael on deep space, cryogenics and alien life form.
What aspect needs the most work?
The one thing to me that stood out was that it seemed rushed. I think the author knew this and that was why the author even addressed it in the excerpt through Michael and his mentor as he prepares to leave. They just found the other side of the worm hole, there might be alien life, and they send two people within a couple days into the wormhole, knowing they won’t be back for 80 years. I just wish there was a more valid reason then Earth people (who are light years away) would try to send the military first. There has to be away of not making it seem so pushed and rushed.
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
Overall this story got me; I really want to know when the full book comes out (or if it’s already out) and read the rest. What about Terra who has a slight sway to schizophrenia? Or the fact that 80 years is a long time and anything can happen, will there be alien life? Is it just another dimension and time? The hook was there and reeling me in trying to get me to keep turning the pages, long past the last word of the excerpt.
Wow, what a nice review! I was especially surprised to see this person wondering when the full book is coming out. I don’t have a deal for it (yet), but hopefully, it won’t be long. Also, it’s good to see that someone really enjoyed the narrator’s voice. Young Adult can be hard, not just from an artistic perspective but because of so many differing editorial opinions on what a “YA voice” is supposed to feel like. Good to see that someone thought I got it right.
As for the criticism, I can definitely see how it’s valid. Part of the reason for rushing Michael and Terra out so fast is to set things up for the sequel, but I suppose I could have them wait a few months before launching the mission. I thought that’s what I’d done, but I suppose I need to make it more clear.
If you would like to read the 3,000 word excerpt for Genesis Earth, you can download it for free here. You might need to download some software from Amazon if you don’t have an ereader, but it shouldn’t be too hard. Their Kindle for PC program is free, so I just use that.
So yeah, check it out. I hope you enjoy it!
I read it on my Kindle (of course) and I really liked it. I’m definitely not an ABNA Expert Reviewer but I would like to give my feedback.
I was also hooked by the unknown of what they would find on that planet. I think the reason that I want to know what happens next is because of the possibilities you’ve created that it can be any location and any time. Also the suggestion that there is going to be intelligent life on the planet made me wonder what they will find.
I also felt it was pretty rushed. I don’t know if that is a product of only having the first few chapters to read, or if that feeling would remain for the rest of the book. I definitely would have enjoyed reading a lot more about his life on the asteroid/ship. But I expect that there will be a lot more on the other side of the worm hole.
I really hope you make it to the next round.
Good on ya, Joe! That must be cool, hearing people you don’t know compliment your writing.
(Actually, it’s cool just to get compliments!)