An existential time of year

School has been kicking my trash this semester. Maybe it’s senioritis or something, but I feel like I’m doing half the work I did as a junior and still, all I can do is put out fires.

I was hoping to be finished with Genesis Earth 4.0 by now, but it’s looking like that won’t happen until the end of this week.  If I really push myself, I could probably get it done tomorrow…in fact, I may just do that.  Schoolwork can wait–this is what I want to do with my life.

Around this time of year, my thoughts tend to become morose and existential.  Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight, or the end-of-semester crunch, but I always wonder why I’m doing what I’m doing, what the point of it is, where I’m headed in my life–that kind of stuff.  For some reason, I get the feeling that my life is empty in some way.

It’s not overwhelming, fortunately.  I don’t have depression or anything like that.  Just…a sense of discontentment.  Maybe it has to do with finals.  I don’t know.

But I do know that it sucks to be pulled in so many different directions all the time.  Classes, work, writing, classes; finals, papers, papers and finals to grade, writing, more papers and finals.  It sucks.  I can’t wait until graduation!

(talk about famous last words o.O )

In any case, Genesis Earth is just about finished.  I’m finding that the closer I get to the end, the more I find that needs to be revised.  I’ll probably have to insert a new scene in the second to last chapter, just to tie them closer together.  For some reason, the last chapter feels too…short.  And disconnected.  Dammit.

And then, sometime between now and my personal exodus from Provo, I need to look up places to submit this thing.  I haven’t even begun to do that.  Crap.  Since this is the most polished draft of anything I’ve done up to this point, I’m going to be pretty hard core about submitting.

And then, somehow, I need to finish the second draft for Bringing Stella Home before New Years.  Holy crap, that novel is so full of holes.  I’m not going to even begin to be able patch them until the third draft, whenever that happens.  Inshallah, I can get that done over Christmas break…inshallah.

And then, something entirely new!  But it’s past 1am, so I’m not going to elaborate.  I’ve got some cool ideas, though–some crazy cool ideas.  Stay tuned.