Shoot! Today was a crazy day! I feel almost like it was a waste! The last couple of days, I was thinking about how great it would be once the weekend comes, how I’d have tons of free time to write in my novel, and how many thousands of words I would write, how awesome it would be. But now, it’s the end of the day, and I haven’t even written anything at all!
It’s weird. I think that it’s a tendency that we all have–procrastination. Some people have it worse than others. I’m extremely horrible at it. I read on a photoblog I read that we spend about five years in our lifetimes just waiting for buses, subways, cars, doctors appointments, etc. If you could add up all the time I’ve spent in procrastination, it would probably add up to five already! The weird thing is…this is something I actually enjoy doing. Why procrastinate THAT??
It reminds me of a priesthood lesson we had once in church last semester. This guest speaker came to speak with us on the difficult subjects, like chastity, pornography, etc. He started out by discussing a conversation he had with a neurologist once, about how we are hardwired, through our brain, to try and get a maximum output with a minimum input. Basically, the idea is that we are naturally disinclined to do the productive, creative things that require effort, and naturally inclined to waste time on mindless activities that give us basic, low-level pleasure. It might be a LOT more satisfying to do something creative, but that requires so much effort to do that we have a natural impulse to avoid doing it–and to waste time instead on video games, tv, staring at the wall, and other stupid stuff.
The other weird thing is that even though I did almost all of my homework yesterday, I spent the whole day today stressed out about that tiny little bit that I hadn’t yet done. It was very, very weird. I did about three or four hours of homework yesterday, and had only about an hour (half an hour of focused effort, but I never focus) left. I KNEW that I had a significantly lesser load of homework, and yet, despite that fact, I still felt weighed down in the back of my mind! All day! AUGH!!!
So, I guess I’ve learned two things from this experience: the urge to procrastinate is not confined to unpleasant tasks, and that no matter how much or how little work you put off, it will still weigh on the back of your mind.
Freak!
Well, there is some good news though. I have NO homework that I need to do tomorrow! (except blog in Arabic, but that’s fun and isn’t strictly necessary for my Arabic homework anyways) I am FREE! What’s more, the day is almost totally open! At least, as far as Sundays are open (and believe it or not, Sundays are actually fairly busy for us students). What’s more, it’s not all that late right now! I’m going to go to bed before 2:00, which means that I’ll be able to wake up in the morning and actually be awake! I’ll actually get sufficient sleep! So, tomorrow is looking good. Even though I didn’t write today, I will spend lots of time writing tomorrow, inshallah.
