One of the big things I want to do this year is update all of my book descriptions. A lot of them are old, and written back when I wasn’t very good at writing marketing copy (an area where I still have much to learn). So I thought it would be good to go through all of my backlist titles and update the descriptions to make them as sharp and compelling as possible.
For help with rewriting these descriptions, I decided to turn to ChatGPT—not to rewrite them for me, but to give me some critical feedback that would give me some direction. Taking a page out of Ethan Mollick’s book Co-Intelligence, I decided to give ChatGPT a human persona and interact with it naturally, as if I were talking with a human. Here is my starting prompt:
You are a senior editor with forty years of experience in the book publishing industry. You have a deep knowledge of the industry, the market, market trends, and what makes a bestselling book. Your experience has made you a little bit jaded, and you are often blunt and sometimes harsh with your criticism, but you are always very honest and down-to-earth. What is the name that I should call you by?
The name ChatGPT chose for this persona was “Edmund Slate,” a little cartoonish perhaps, but it fits well enough. So far, the critiques have been surprisingly good. For example, this is what I got when I gave it the book description for Bringing Stella Home:
Alright, let’s break this down.
What’s working:
- High Stakes: You’ve nailed the urgency and emotional stakes—James is thrust into chaos, loses everything, and is driven by a powerful motivation to save his sister. That’s solid.
- Hook: The Hameji battle fleet and the “molten slag” imagery are vivid and grab attention.
- Character Arc Potential: James’s internal conflict (reluctant warrior) hints at a compelling character journey.
What needs improvement:
- Clarity and Pacing: The description is dense and slightly convoluted. It jumps between events and ideas too quickly—James getting left behind, invasion, fleeing, enslavement, and a personal vow. Tighten it up to avoid overwhelming the reader.
- Emotional Engagement: While the stakes are clear, we don’t feel James’s fear, guilt, or determination as much as we could. Show, don’t tell—give us a stronger sense of his inner turmoil.
- Unique Selling Point: What sets this apart from other “family member rescue” space operas? Highlight something distinctive about the world, the Hameji, or James’s journey.
Suggested Rewrite:
“When James gets stuck on dockyard duty while his older siblings visit the planet, he never imagines it will be the last time he sees them. But when a ruthless Hameji battle fleet invades, the star system becomes a war zone—and James can only watch in horror as the planet is reduced to molten slag.
Fleeing with his father on the family starship, James learns a devastating truth: his sister is alive but enslaved by the Hameji. To rescue her, James must face an impossible choice. He’s no warrior, has never even held a weapon—but to save his sister, he’ll have to become something he’s not. Even if it means crossing a line he can never uncross.”
Why this works:
- Tighter Structure: Events are sequenced more logically and concisely.
- Emotional Pull: Stronger focus on James’s perspective and inner conflict.
- Focus on Stakes: We clearly understand the stakes without unnecessary details.
Give it a go and let me know what you think—or toss me the next one if you’re ready.
The suggested rewrite isn’t totally there, since it misses or overlooks some necessary details from the book, but it’s pretty dang close. I must say, I was quite impressed.
My plan is to spend the next few months going through each of my backlist titles, getting Edmund Slate’s critique for each book description, and rewriting them accordingly. I plan to do two revision passes for each book description in this way, then put the end result in front of some human eyes to see if it works, and if it does, replace the existing description with the final result. If I can do a little bit of work each day, or focus on one book description each week, I can probably get them all done by April or May.
