I’m about a third of the way through To Search the Starry Sea, and my greatest fear at this point is that it isn’t as good as the last novel I wrote. Because if it isn’t as good, that means that I’m getting worse, not better, and if I’m getting worse, that means I’m never going to make it as an author, because I’m not even published yet, and if I’m not going to make it as an author, that means I’m going to have to do what I’m doing NOW for the rest of my life, which means that I’m going to be miserable and life is going to suck…
<pant> <pant> <pant>
Seriously, though, sometimes I wonder if I’ve really made the right choice. To Search the Starry Sea is much more of a happy adventure story, but sometimes I feel that it lacks depth and meaning. I’m starting to get feedback from my alpha readers for Bringing Stella Home, and their reactions to it are surprisingly encouraging. That story moved people–but this one? I don’t know.
Then again, Bringing Stella Home is dark, gritty, and very tragic. I remember feeling depressed by the story even as I wrote it. Is that the kind of story I want to be known for? If I can write something deep and meaningful and have it be optimistic and adventuresome, that would be a lot better.
I’m discovery writing it hardcore, which means that side characters often come to play a much more central role than I’d thought, and events that I thought I could cover in a chapter, I have to cover in two. I have an idea where the story is going to end up, though, and it’s going to be awesome. How awesome? Let me show you:
Yeah, it’s going to be awesome.
I think the key to keeping it meaningful is 1) to keep in mind the main character’s inner conflicts, framing them in a way that the readers can relate to their struggles, and 2) keeping the overall growth arc constantly in mind. How does what’s happening affect how the character is changing? That kind of stuff.
I hope I can finish this in two months. I’m mired in the middle of it right now, and the end is far from sight.
In the meantime, I think I’ll get some sleep.
Oh boy, calm down! Didn’t Brandon ever tell you about the 12 books he wrote before getting published. Elantris was #6, and then a few books he wrote afterward he felt weren’t as good for various reasons (including trying to write to the market instead of focusing on what he really wanted to write). And you can’t judge everything by the first draft. Things can always improve in rewrites.
And I’m sure there are other jobs where you can use your education than what you are doing now. And remember, internships generally tend to be more grunt work than the things people love to do when they work in that career.
I feel that way right now, actually. I’m sure it will work out, though.
Authors are often their harshest critics. Your story will turn out fine, OLL.
It’ll be easier to tell how meaningful your story is after you finish it. I wouldn’t worry too much about that though.
Thanks guys! I appreciate the support. Slogging through the middle of a rough draft is always the worst. Good luck on your own projects!